The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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