ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
