Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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