Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
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