Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
My liver needs me to go back to work asap.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
i found you passed out on the floor with a half-eaten pie. i figured youd be the last person to care if i went and banged your sister
Randomize
