remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
Randomize
