Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Do vagina's smell?
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Bc when the owner of your local gay bar and a drag king ask you to take them to a rival gay bar 2hrs away at 4 in the morning YOU GO.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
