gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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