We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I just blew my weed a kiss
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
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