And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Randomize
