She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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