Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
My Dicks been hard all day. Poor guy isn't used to vacation being over
My vagina is very pro this idea
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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