Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Sacagawea was the original milf.
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Randomize
