At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
