Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
He put his SoundCloud on his Tinder bio. I felt personally attacked.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
Randomize
