Please don't use social media to get back at me.
soooo.. i guess the cop said he'd drop the charges if i go to some AA meetings and i said fuck AA. not one of my better choices.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
