Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I am full of burrito and curiosity
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
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