Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
well I washed the adderal like an idiot. the capsules broke but the beads inside were intact. so my landlady came in and caught me licking the dryer lint screen
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
Looking for things to spread butter on. Found men's briefs in garbage can. Lost insurance card. Summer has finally arrived
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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