i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
