I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
