Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Captain and coke. And it's not drinking alone cuz i have a dog
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
but dude how did I get so drunk?
Pretty sure it happened right after you poured a shot of Wild Turkey into your Budweiser, chugged it, and screamed "I. NEVER. BACK. DOWN!"
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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