I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Randomize
