It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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