so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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