The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
Randomize
