So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
