How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I intend to get homeless drunk
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
