He is such a slut. More and more my type.
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
