apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
I have no idea what happened after 2 AM. I woke up on my bike, in my bed, with a deep thigh bruise.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
