You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Randomize
