those girls across the street saw me hanging my towel off of my penis...they're coming over later
Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
