in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
He left a cum stain in the shape of a heart on my sheets.
He's like the Bob Ross of love stains.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
It's four o'clock and my 60yo aunt's tits have already made an appearance and there is a dildo traveling around the room periodically assaulting family members. Strangely I am thankful.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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