my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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