I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Yeah well margarita Wednesday already came twice this week and it's just now Wednesday
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
