I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It must be illegal for me to be this drunk in front of this many children
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
false alarm, still single
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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