Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
