i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
