woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
She told me I should be a condom model.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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