You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
there's no such thing as luck on your birthday, only drunken invincibility, make it happen
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Randomize
