there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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