after a month anything with tits is on the radar
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
We have so much sex to catch up on
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
