party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
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