I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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