She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
