She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
Randomize
