Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
