it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
Looking for the remote in the couch. Finding Adderall beads. Considering utilizing.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
He's 30 years old and woke me up for a hand job. Last time I go home with someone I met through Tinder.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
