we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I just woke up in my locked bathroom. It's 5 PM. What happened?
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
