She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Randomize
