so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
he was holding the bottle like a running back yelling for security and the national guard as he was being tackled
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
