She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
Randomize
