Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Okay, this next statement may sound like a red flag but I'm tellin you, shotgunning those two beers really helped me love my child more effectively. Honest.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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